FUNNY SIGNS FOR THE HOME

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

My house was clean last week. Too bad you missed it!

I came. I saw. I decided to order take out.

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day!

So this isn't Home Sweet Home. Adjust!

Ring bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

If you don't like my standards of cooking -- lower your standards.

Help keep the kitchen clean. Eat out.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.