When one hosts a dinner party, it is essential that all the place mats match, or, at the very least, they all come from the same fast-food restaurant.
Entertaining in your backyard? The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who's muscular and shirtless.
My favorite party game is "Pin the Cleanup on the Guests."
Nothing in the world is quite so entertaining as pouring old milk into new containers before having guests over.
A good host must always be a stickler for attractive food presentation! I always remove the foil completely from a TV dinner before serving.
Getting your home in tiptop shape for a party can be fun if you think of it as kicking dust bunnies!
Take short cuts! I used to offer my guests instant coffee. They kept whining for hot water to go with it.
The best way to prepare a roast is to make an aluminum foil tent over your roasting pan. Similarly, the best way to prepare for relatives is to pitch a tent in the backyard and stay there until they leave.
When decorating for a party, be creative with regular household items. Some people might just see a moldy shower curtain with torn eyelets. What do I see? A new tablecloth.
The better you cook, the more likely your guests will return. Which is why I'm not usually so hot in the kitchen.

Decorating Humor Index